How to stay motivated when the excitement wears off
Starting is the fun part. There's a new notebook, a plan, maybe a playlist. Then somewhere around week three the thing is still hard and no longer new, and that's where most goals go quiet. Not with a decision, just a gap that keeps getting longer.
Expect the dip
Early motivation runs mostly on novelty. It's exciting to be someone who is learning Spanish. After a few weeks the novelty is gone, but the habit isn't built yet, so you're left doing something hard with neither the thrill nor the autopilot to help. This is normal. It's not a sign that you picked the wrong goal or that you lack willpower.
It also lasts longer than people think. The popular claim that a habit takes 21 days doesn't hold up. When Phillippa Lally's team at University College London followed people building new daily habits, it took 66 days on average for the behavior to feel automatic, and anywhere from 18 to 254 depending on the person and the habit. If you're in week four and it still takes effort, you're not behind. You're in the middle of it.
The same study had some good news: missing a single day made no real difference. Missing one day doesn't break a habit. Treating one missed day as proof you've failed often does.
The middle is the hardest part
A well-known experiment with coffee shop loyalty cards found that customers bought coffee faster the closer they got to a free one. Even more telling: people given a twelve-stamp card with two stamps already filled in finished it sooner than people with a blank ten-stamp card. Same ten coffees to go. It just felt closer.
This is called the goal gradient effect, and it has an awkward consequence. At the start you're excited, and near the end the finish line pulls you in, but the middle has neither. Later research by Andrea Bonezzi and colleagues found a way through. Early on, people stay motivated by looking at how far they've come. Later, they do better looking at how little is left. In the murky middle, the fix is to make the finish line closer:
- Break a big goal into short stretches, each with its own finish. Not "run a marathon in April," but "run three times this week."
- Early in a stretch, count what you've done. Late in a stretch, count what's left.
- Give yourself the two free stamps. If you've been doing something related for years, count that as a head start, because it is one.
Daydream less, plan for the obstacle
This one runs against a lot of popular advice. The psychologist Gabriele Oettingen has spent years studying what happens when people imagine reaching their goals, and her finding is that pure positive fantasy tends to reduce the energy people put in. Picturing the finish line can feel so good that part of you relaxes as though you've already got there.
What works better, in her research, is a method she calls WOOP: Wish, Outcome, Obstacle, Plan. You picture the goal and how good it would be, and then you deliberately picture the thing most likely to get in the way. Then you make a plan for it. "If I get home tired and want to skip the run, I'll put my shoes on and walk around the block, and decide after that."
Dream about the finish all you like. Just make sure some of the daydreaming is about Thursday evening, when you're tired and it's raining.
Keep score where you can see it
Long goals give almost no feedback. You don't notice getting fitter, or better at the piano, day to day, so it feels like nothing is happening. Tracking fills that gap.
It doesn't need to be clever. An X on a paper calendar for each day you did the thing works well because you can see the whole month at a glance, and a row of Xs is surprisingly hard to break. A running log, a list of pages written, a jar you drop a coin in. Whatever it is, put it somewhere you'll see without looking for it.
If you do one thing each day, you'll reach your goal.
Leo Babauta, Zen Habits
Bring someone in, carefully
Almost nothing keeps people going like other people. A running partner who is waiting at the corner at seven. A study group. A friend who texts on Sunday to ask how the week went.
One caution, though. Some research by Peter Gollwitzer suggests that announcing a goal can backfire when it's tied to who you want to be. Telling everyone "I'm going to be a writer" and getting their approval can deliver some of the satisfaction early, before you've written anything. The fix is to tell someone who will check in, not an audience that will applaud. Accountability helps. Applause in advance can take the edge off.
Put reminders where your eyes already go
A lot of goals aren't abandoned so much as forgotten. The week gets busy, the goal slips out of view, and by the time you remember it, the gap feels too wide to cross.
So keep the goal in sight. A sticky note on the bathroom mirror. The guitar on a stand in the living room. The book on your pillow. Your phone's Lock Screen is one of the most-looked-at surfaces you own, and it can carry something better than a clock.
That last one is what I built Dailies for, so I'm biased. It puts a quote on your Home Screen and Lock Screen, and sends more as notifications at times you don't expect, inside hours you set, drawn from topics you pick, such as Keep your promises to yourself or Small and often. The quote matters less than the nudge: on an ordinary afternoon, something points you back at the thing you said you cared about.
Know when to quit
Sometimes motivation fades because the goal was never really yours. It belonged to your parents, or to a version of you from five years ago, or to someone on the internet with a very nice kitchen. Pushing on with a goal like that is a lot of effort for something you don't want.
A useful test: imagine you'd already reached it. Do you feel relief, or pride? Relief usually means it's a chore you want to be free of. Pride usually means it's worth the middle.
You don't need to worry about progressing slowly. You need to worry about climbing the wrong mountain.
James Clear, 3-2-1 Newsletter
Questions
How do you stay motivated every day?
You don't, and nobody does. What stays consistent is the habit and the setup around it: a regular time, a small daily version of the task, a visible record of progress, and someone who checks in. Motivation comes and goes on top of that.
How long does it take to form a habit?
About 66 days on average, according to a study from University College London, with a range from 18 to 254 days. The widely quoted 21 days is not supported by that research.
What should I do when I lose motivation halfway through a goal?
Shrink the finish line. Break what's left into short stretches with their own end points, and focus on how little is left in each one. The middle of a goal is the hardest part for almost everyone.
Does telling people your goals help you achieve them?
It depends on who you tell and why. Telling someone who will check in on your progress helps. Announcing a goal mainly to get approval can backfire, because the praise can give you some of the satisfaction before you've done the work.
Is it OK to give up on a goal?
Yes, if the goal no longer matters to you. Dropping a goal you've outgrown frees up energy for one you care about. The question to ask is whether you'd feel pride or just relief if you reached it.
Keep reading
Start today with something good.
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